Got this from musician Dom Aversano on a recent live stream (edited for clarity):

“I was thinking about recreating the recommendation aspect (on my website), which is what social media tends to excel at. I remember when websites used to have links to other sites… My issue with websites is they can feel lonely sometimes — not in terms of traffic, but more in the sense that they tend to be about individuals rather than groups. My sense is that social media is popular partly because it feels like a party.”

Most of our websites are mullet marketing – business up front, party in the back.

We invest all this time and energy in the social media space – interesting videos, fresh updates, lively banter, etc. That’s the “party in the back” part of the mullet. Fun, fresh, exciting (for the 10% of your audience that even get to see it).

Then, when anyone does end up on our website, they see your head shots from two summers ago, seven month old blog posts, and twenty links spread across the header and footer for someone to make sense of.

I’m not even saying you have to stop posting on social media. I’m just saying put some of that same material on your own damn website. Stop the mullet marketing.

And to Dom’s point – yes, talk about other people! Link to other projects! I linked to Dom’s website at the top of this post – go check out his work! We’re in this together, learning as we go, and there’s no reason we should be doing this alone.

I wrote this back around the time my dad, a life long musician, passed away a few years ago.

The biggest lie is we have to make our entire living on the sale of our art, or else we’re just no-talent wannabes.

So many artists fall for this, feeling like 100 views isn’t enough, and they stop because “no one cares.”

I wake up thinking about the artists, poets, writers, and musicians we’ve lost because they couldn’t keep up with the “hitting it big” rat race of social media.

Somehow, 10,000 views aren’t enough because you really need 100,000. Having 12 people at a show on a Tuesday night is a waste of time. No one buys your art because you’re not making enough Reels.

It’s lies, it’s all bullshit.

Recently, a friend walked me around her apartment, showing me art left to her by a dear friend who had passed away. Just time together, picking up pieces, pointing out tiny details, and sharing the stories of each item.

I didn’t ask how many followers they had, or if they were a full-time artist. In the end, literally – when we pass away – no one will give a damn.

I’m no sales expert, but I’ve watched enough YouTube videos to know about “scripts.” Literally planned out lines of dialogue to making the sale in person or on the phone. Teams will even review calls from during the week, just to make adjustments and get better.

With most things, there are extremes.

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Had a health scare in the family this week, and drove 3+ hours to visit my aunt in the hospital. Thankfully she’s okay, and I’m surrounded by family and lovely friends who sent me lots of cat photos, but whew… what a time to reflect. Makes me realize more and more it’s all about the connections and stories we get to make with people in our lives!

◾ CO-WORK ESCAPE POD
Change your Welcome email, file that tax extension, edit a voiceover, retouch some photos, practice the piano – let’s do this work together!
Tuesday, April 21 from 12-2:00 PM EST
REGISTER HERE: https://luma.com/w767uysy

◾ ESCAPE POD #115 – THE PARTY TEST
 ​Picture yourself at a dinner party, and someone asks what you do. What if you talked about the thing that gets you out of bed every morning, instead of your day job?
CAN WE DO THAT? I think we can. ​And what happens when we start doing that more??!
Thursday, April 23 from 2:00 PM – 3:00 PM EST:
REGISTER HERE: https://luma.com/f5p4u3u0?coupon=PARTY

◾ BREAK UP 💔 WITH SOCIAL MEDIA #02
Like the break up party we had on Valentines Day, but making this a regular Saturday feature to focus on BREAKING UP WITH SOCIAL MEDIA.
Saturday, April 25 at 12PM EST
REGISTER HERE: https://luma.com/4eqvlsck?coupon=23RET6

From a Cal Newport blog post, “In Defense of Thinking,”

“I’m done ceding my brain — the core of all that makes me who I am — to the financial interests of a small number of technology billionaires or the shortsighted conveniences of hyperactive communication styles.”

The platforms display view counts of short form “content,” but that doesn’t mean you’re required to play along. Are those numbers even accurate?

Lots of people drive past billboards everyday on highways, but so what?

It’s 2026 and $20 magazines exist. People are buying vinyl records. Young people are buying digital cameras and camcorders and CD players.

There is a possibility that people you’re trying to reach aren’t even on social media anymore.

Someone asked me about finding engagement outside of social media on today’s Substack Live.

I get asked this a lot, and it came up in a great conversation with Deanna Seymour on her podcast that I recorded earlier today.

My answer isn’t super complicated, but it does require patience. I make it work by showing up on other people’s channels (think podcasts, YouTube interviews, live sessions) and having genuine conversations.

I don’t do this as a growth hack. I’m not expecting a thousand people to rush to my site. Maybe ten people really hear me, and two of them subscribe to your newsletter, and if I keep doing that, those twos and threes add up.

The real trick is consistency, though. One podcast every four months ain’t gonna move the needle. But showing up regularly, having good conversations with good people, and letting their audience find me over time – that’s how all this works without social media.

Great insight from Carly Valancy and her work with author Laura Rubin.

Sometimes you’re too close to the thing to see the opportunities that are right under your nose. Halfway through this experiment, Laura realized her best friend didn’t event know what her book was about. You cannot expect someone to help you if you don’t let them in.

Sometimes the first step isn’t reaching out to strangers. It’s just sharing with the people who already love you and giving them the chance to help.

We often think we’re communicating our ideas and offers clearly, but there’s a possibility that those in our immediate network might not fully understand what you’re trying to get across. We take it for granted that they get it, when they might not. And if that’s the case, how might it resonate with total strangers?

Last October Tom Violett joined one of our Escape Pod Zoom calls. He’s making his first documentary (Voices For Change) at 62 with his 19 year old filmmaker son Ray.

He said he went to a documentary screening of a young filmmaker in Philadelphia, PA.

“It turned out to be a Video Consortium Hub event, with both experienced and emerging filmmakers all in the same room,” said Tom. “That night, I turned to Ray and said, ‘I want one of these in New Jersey.’”

And that’s what he did!

“So I made it happen — connected with a few people — and we had our launch event a few weeks ago. We brought together emerging filmmakers, a documentary filmmaker who’s been doing a PBS series for 13 years, and another friend who’s been an editor for 30 years, doing high-end work like Super Bowl commercials.

They all just talked.

We’re building that community, and people are hungry for it. It’s tough when you’re out there on your own, but once you find that community, it just takes off.”

They all just talked.

That’s it, friends. That’s the magic.

The magic is also in re-sharing this story for people who didn’t it see the first time. This is another change to be inspired, to see how another creative person is making things happen within his creative orbit.

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