Finding your people is about signals, it’s about risk, it’s about trying something without knowing how the finish product shows up.

Posting on social media will get you near instant feedback, like eating a cookie. In the moment it’s great, but not a great long term strategy.

So Jen Mayer | Makeist of Zinestack and I collaborated on this EXIT ≠ DELETE zine. The photos here the deluxe version, and you can grab a digital copy to print at home from Jen’s Five on Friday post here.

We met awhile ago on Substack, via Notes probably and some Escape Pod Zoom calls, and we started working together on this zine project in June of 2025.

So really, finding your people, and then sometimes doing things with your people, can take a minute. And “finding your people” never ends. Today’s people might not be next year’s people, because you’re always growing and changing, just like everyone else!

WHAT’S THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SOCIAL MEDIA ESCAPE CLUB?

“Deleting the app is the start,” as I mention in our EXIT ≠ DELETE zine. We’re leaving, but we’re entering into something else, which is why I stress the whole “find your people” thing. If you’re trying to get away from social media, it makes sense to hang around other people who think the same thing. The journey isn’t fast or clear, but it just makes sense to go along with others.

So while this week our Escape Pod Zoom call wasn’t “how to get 1000 new subscribers” or “get my Instagram followers to go paid on Substack,” well… we’re just a bunch of artsy, creative weirdos who like the adventure of breaking up with big tech, spending less time on socials, and oh yeah – doing stuff.

I don’t promise results. There’s no map. And I don’t have all the answers. But we get where we wanna go together, so if that sounds fun, come along for the ride.

Finding your people can happen anywhere. On Monday’s very spontaneous Substack Live, people were chatting with each another, learning what they do, and subscribing to each other.

Somehow in the chaos of a live chat room, people connected. Some people found their people.

So please don’t leave that to the machines, desperately pleading “oh algorithm, please deliver me my audience!”

You’ve got taste and style. You can find people in the chat, in the comments, in line at the coffee shop. See what your favorite authors like on Substack Notes. Who are the 11 people Austin Kleon subscribes to? Have you looked up some of the artists that people mention on your favorite podcasts?

Here’s some of the things I attempted to answer during the Live:

• Should I make my Substack free and build community somewhere else?
• Was there a time you felt you were writing into a void?
• How often do you do lives, and why do them?
• How do you feel about Substack Notes?
• How do I find my people without sounding like a coach, and what do I talk about besides “come to this”?
• What’s Metal Bandcamp Gift Club?
• Should I be on YouTube?

Doing things in person, guesting on a podcast, going live – these are things with other people, and it’s sort of the foundation of everything, and it can be terrifying.

Underneath that is tension. As Seth Godin says, “this might not work.”

Why bother going to an open mic night when you can just post something on social media and get 39 likes?

Why gather with other creative people when a vertical video might get 10,000 views?

I think about it like this – imagine if you were in a group chat with Hayley Williams. Right? Or whatever other artist you admire, imagine you got to swap messages with them throughout the week.

The other people in all of this isn’t just for the opportunities is might present, but also in helping build the belief that you belong. That you matter, that the art you make matters, that your ideas and dreams aren’t ridiculous.

Michael Gilbride and I spoke about this a bunch yesterday, about community and IRL gatherings.

Neither of us have all the answers, but when get together with other people we get closer to figuring it out.

What’s interesting from today’s Tool Time Show and Tell call was how it eventually got to paper. Like notebooks, planners, wall calendars. We talked about how the brain reacts different to writing with a pencil, in a different way than just typing.

It’s not just a pencil, it’s a tool. For centuries we wrote, physically, and there were tools involved, that we used with our hands.

You can have music playing all day on your computer, but with vinyl and CDs you need to physically interact with them.

There is no infinite scroll with physical objects. No endless playlist.

I can add 100 things to my todo app, but there’s only so many things I can write on a legal pad.

​This Escape Pod Zoom call is for those just getting started! Maybe you’re not looking to turn this into a six figure business, you just want to make work and find your people along the way.

​We’ll probably talk about:

• ​Where you people might be (especially outside of social media)
• ​Small, chill ways that let people know what you do
• ​How to find like-minded folks for easy-going collaborations
• ​Small ways to stay visible without burning yourself out
• ​How to keep it going without burning out

​And hey, old-schoolers – you’ve already done this, so please come and share your experience and wisdom, too. This is gonna be a good time.

Monday, Sep 28 at 9:00 AM EDT → https://luma.com/4bswy3zo
Thursday, Oct 1 at 2:00 PM → https://luma.com/ud9em9yw

If you’re not on social media, it might be hard to keep up with the latest music. And if you don’t use the big streaming services (maybe you’ve ditched Spotify), it’s even harder to know about new releases.

Now, I’ve been neck deep in music since the mid 90s. I started a music blog in 2001, and was the founding editor of Noise Creep at AOL Music back in 2008. I work for a record label and music publicist these days, too. But for me I don’t follow one source, or any sort of news outlets for new music, but rather a combination of the following:

1. Follow music writers, instead of the big music outlets. Back in the early days of Twitter my friend followed the NY Mets beat writers instead of the actual NY Mets account. Following the people listening, writing, living and breathing the thing everyday – those are the people you want to connect with. Gabbie writes New Bands for Old Heads. Kevin Alexander writes On Repeat Records.
2. Listen to the radio. Joi runs The Radio Room. Find radio stations around the world with Radio Garden. I discovered this French radio station called FIP from a virtual co-working call awhile back. Look up some local college radio stations in your area – most have live streams from their websites.
3. Tons of DJ sets on NTS, Rinse.fm, Boiler Room, SoundCloud (their Daily Drops playlists are great), and HOR Berlin (there are a million like these).
4. Go to Bandcamp – see that scrolling list of releases? Click on one and hit play, I dare you. Then start diving into some of the genres via the Discover page, which is how I found the release below. You can also try Subvert.

Streaming platforms lured us with having everything all in one place. Resist the big tech lock-in and entrust a little bit of magic for your music discovery.

Social Media Escape Club isn’t a step by step guide to 10x your revenue without posting reels, it’s a journey with other creative individuals who want to feel better about how they spend their time.

Everything I write and share is from conversations and experiences with real life people making their escape in their own way.

1. People are ditching Goodreads in creative ways, both analog and digital.
2. Nicole Kelner made the Unplug OS app, which “locks your distracting apps… the only way to unlock them is to plug in your phone.”
3. Tracy Stewart left Google Workspace for Infomaniak. I started using cDox (thanks, Bagel) in place of Google Docs and Sheets for my own projects.
4. I’ll be talking with Michael Gilbride on Tues, Sept 22 at 3pm EDT to talk about how musicians can break away from social media platforms and stop playing games with Spotify. Register here via Luma to get a reminder, or just be on Substack at that time.
5. How do you find stuff without being on social media? Deanna Seymour made a bulletin board of upcoming events with people in her orbit. Imagine if we all shared all the cool things our friends are doing?
6. Bookmark this one: Obscure & niche digital resources I use for inspiration, case studies, mood-board building and more from Maria Izvestkina.

Just the fact that we have to ask “is this real?” 10 times a day is a major indicator that things have changed a bit over the years, and also everything costing 40% more than it did 12 minutes ago.

The world is different, folks. You’re doing the best you can.