Category: WorkCategory: Work

Finding your people is about signals, it’s about risk, it’s about trying something without knowing how the finish product shows up.

Posting on social media will get you near instant feedback, like eating a cookie. In the moment it’s great, but not a great long term strategy.

So Jen Mayer | Makeist of Zinestack and I collaborated on this EXIT ≠ DELETE zine. The photos here the deluxe version, and you can grab a digital copy to print at home from Jen’s Five on Friday post here.

We met awhile ago on Substack, via Notes probably and some Escape Pod Zoom calls, and we started working together on this zine project in June of 2025.

So really, finding your people, and then sometimes doing things with your people, can take a minute. And “finding your people” never ends. Today’s people might not be next year’s people, because you’re always growing and changing, just like everyone else!

WHAT’S THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SOCIAL MEDIA ESCAPE CLUB?

“Deleting the app is the start,” as I mention in our EXIT ≠ DELETE zine. We’re leaving, but we’re entering into something else, which is why I stress the whole “find your people” thing. If you’re trying to get away from social media, it makes sense to hang around other people who think the same thing. The journey isn’t fast or clear, but it just makes sense to go along with others.

So while this week our Escape Pod Zoom call wasn’t “how to get 1000 new subscribers” or “get my Instagram followers to go paid on Substack,” well… we’re just a bunch of artsy, creative weirdos who like the adventure of breaking up with big tech, spending less time on socials, and oh yeah – doing stuff.

I don’t promise results. There’s no map. And I don’t have all the answers. But we get where we wanna go together, so if that sounds fun, come along for the ride.

Doing things in person, guesting on a podcast, going live – these are things with other people, and it’s sort of the foundation of everything, and it can be terrifying.

Underneath that is tension. As Seth Godin says, “this might not work.”

Why bother going to an open mic night when you can just post something on social media and get 39 likes?

Why gather with other creative people when a vertical video might get 10,000 views?

I think about it like this – imagine if you were in a group chat with Hayley Williams. Right? Or whatever other artist you admire, imagine you got to swap messages with them throughout the week.

The other people in all of this isn’t just for the opportunities is might present, but also in helping build the belief that you belong. That you matter, that the art you make matters, that your ideas and dreams aren’t ridiculous.

Michael Gilbride and I spoke about this a bunch yesterday, about community and IRL gatherings.

Neither of us have all the answers, but when get together with other people we get closer to figuring it out.

What’s interesting from today’s Tool Time Show and Tell call was how it eventually got to paper. Like notebooks, planners, wall calendars. We talked about how the brain reacts different to writing with a pencil, in a different way than just typing.

It’s not just a pencil, it’s a tool. For centuries we wrote, physically, and there were tools involved, that we used with our hands.

You can have music playing all day on your computer, but with vinyl and CDs you need to physically interact with them.

There is no infinite scroll with physical objects. No endless playlist.

I can add 100 things to my todo app, but there’s only so many things I can write on a legal pad.

Social Media Escape Club isn’t a step by step guide to 10x your revenue without posting reels, it’s a journey with other creative individuals who want to feel better about how they spend their time.

Everything I write and share is from conversations and experiences with real life people making their escape in their own way.

1. People are ditching Goodreads in creative ways, both analog and digital.
2. Nicole Kelner made the Unplug OS app, which “locks your distracting apps… the only way to unlock them is to plug in your phone.”
3. Tracy Stewart left Google Workspace for Infomaniak. I started using cDox (thanks, Bagel) in place of Google Docs and Sheets for my own projects.
4. I’ll be talking with Michael Gilbride on Tues, Sept 22 at 3pm EDT to talk about how musicians can break away from social media platforms and stop playing games with Spotify. Register here via Luma to get a reminder, or just be on Substack at that time.
5. How do you find stuff without being on social media? Deanna Seymour made a bulletin board of upcoming events with people in her orbit. Imagine if we all shared all the cool things our friends are doing?
6. Bookmark this one: Obscure & niche digital resources I use for inspiration, case studies, mood-board building and more from Maria Izvestkina.

Just the fact that we have to ask “is this real?” 10 times a day is a major indicator that things have changed a bit over the years, and also everything costing 40% more than it did 12 minutes ago.

The world is different, folks. You’re doing the best you can.

Do I miss opportunities because I’m not on social media? Probably.

But I miss opportunities when I don’t go to the book event on a Tuesday night, or grab lunch at a small establishment after a run.

I’m not at a coffee shop in Brooklyn right now, I didn’t see a band last night in Nashville, I’m not meeting a friend at their office in LA tomorrow. I don’t have billboards, a podcast, a book, or an active YouTube channel.

As Ryan Holiday writes in “The Discipline Required To Create The Life You Want,”

“When an opportunity comes along or I’m faced with a decision, I ask myself: Will this get me closer to that ideal or further away? Will it give me more of the days I actually want to have, or fewer of them?”

All these social media platforms are an opportunity, just like going to a networking event, or being a guest on a podcast. Each has their own risk and reward.

But if we remove the time and energy required for these opportunities (the things we’re told we should do), we’re left with our work.

I got that Ryan Holiday link from Mario Fraioli’s Morning Shakeout newsletter. Mario coaches athletes, has sent a newsletter every week for over 10 years, and posts an occasional podcast.

“I’ve been approached about helping to build out coaching collectives, gotten offers to partner with more brands and events, and been given plenty of unsolicited advice about how to expand my coaching business or make the morning shakeout bigger than just a newsletter and occasional podcast. I say thanks but no thanks to every single one of these inquiries because the tradeoffs just aren’t worth it to me. Bigger isn’t always better, and oftentimes more is just more. I’m not a rich man by any stretch, but I have the discipline to say no, because I know that what I have is enough.”

Saying no to most opportunities is hard, but it leaves you the opportunity to make better work.