A friend of mine got a promotion at work. Talked to another friend who got a “word of mouth” referral, and it meeting a new client tomorrow. A local business owner is moving to a new location, and we talked about the headaches involved (and the return of their delicious chocolate chip cookies).

Was chatting with another friend who has wanted to start doing 1:1 client work, and they just got their first booking. Had a Zoom chat with someone I met on an Akimbo workshop call back in 2019, and we bounced around good vibes and stellar energy.

The more I think about Social Media Escape Club, the more I realize it’s all about the personal connections. It’s not just about the conversations, the encouragement, the support, the regular check ins, but the depth of those interactions.

Social media promotes more views, impressions, likes, and replies. It’s the glut of “happy birthday” comments left on those automated LinkedIn and Facebook posts, instead of the warmth of someone who texts or calls you on your big day.

Lots of well paid people sit in meetings all day plotting new ways to keep us exhausted and tied to the idea that without social media we’re nothing. Their livelihood (and two summer homes) depend on you making another post, using another hashtag, editing another vertical video.

They want you lugging a mic stand into the woods instead of playing a gig on a Tuesday night.

If you’re not spending time on their platform, why would they help you promote your gig? That’s why they want your “native uploads.” You’re rewarded with likes and “views” from people you don’t know, can’t meet, and maybe don’t even exist.

During an interview last week I spoke with someone about musicians getting email addresses from live gigs. I gave two examples I’ve heard over the years, which broke something open for my host, who burst out a whole new idea.

On a group call over the weekend, a musician was stuck in the mire of writing music, recording it, getting the word out – the never ending list of things to manage and tend to. After we batted some ideas around the group, they said the magical words: “you can really clarify your thinking by bouncing stuff off other people.”

As I said, “your next big breakthrough will happen with other creative people.”

“If you were the lone creative weirdo in high school back in the day, well…, you’d better read some books and find some magazines because you’re on your own.

Now we have websites, Zoom, internet radio, email, and a thousand messaging apps – there’s no reason to do any of this alone.

We know the villains in the current landscape. We know what we’re up against.

Time to stop playing games we don’t want to play (and can’t win), and figure out what’s next.”

Platforms can only take you so far. Time to pull great people in your creative orbit. Email someone way up the food chain. Go to the event. Ask for an introduction. Make your own luck.

Your next big break could be one email, one interaction, one person away.

On a morning walk this week, I saw a university work truck holding up traffic while the driver got out to pick up a paper cup that someone threw on the sidewalk. Sometimes the tools we use can be overkill. What gigantic tools are you using that could you stop using today and still get the job done?

Don’t expect a platform to serve you, or look the way you want it to look. You’ll never be satisfied.

Instead, serve your readers. The people already on your email list, the people who trusted you enough to subscribe and say “I wanna hear more from you.”

From today’s ’Making Cozy Videos’ Zoom call, an absolute mic drop quote from a guest:

“(Treat) making a video (on your website) about making someone comfortable, like, if someone came to an opening of mine, I’d want them to feel welcome and comfortable.”

Video isn’t just for touting your expertise and knowledge but to give the visitor a glimpse into what it’s like to work with you, or run into you at a book shop.

Don’t think of each video as something that has to end up on YouTube to be seen by everyone. Think of how one video can put someone at ease, to let people know they’re in the right place when they show up on your website.

From my piece “How I Write” over at Indie Thinkers:

For me, staying in the game is winning, and winning just means I get to play again tomorrow. I just never stopped writing for my little corner of the world.

Read the full piece here.

This from a recent Email Guidance offering (where I answer people’s questions):

You have the permission to do absolutely anything you want and you can do it outside of the confines of the social media attention stealing industry. Just get in front of a few people and do the thing. By doing that, you put up the flag for all the fellow weirdos that want to do the exact same thing. They say “yes, I want to do this!” Lead the way for them. 

You’re not creating a tribe because the tribe already exists., they just haven’t met. So be the one who makes the introduction and pulls people together.

Then three years from now. you’ll look up and know exactly what to put in your newsletter, and what your website needs to look like.

If you’re doing work that feeds you, and resonates with other people, they’ll be no doubt what goes into your next newsletter, your next album, your next painting. Everybody is doing what they want, and you can, too.