Category: CommunityCategory: Community

I’ve seen some posts from people who understand the whole “social media is rigged” thing, going on about the unwritten rules of “don’t include links,” or “post often,” or “make videos.”

These folks buttered up the situation (“haha social media is horrible!”), but then they saw results – it’s a miracle!

No, friends. This is exactly how social media operates. As Cory Doctorow says, it’s the giant teddy bear at the carnival gambit.

At every county fair, you’ll always spot some poor jerk carrying around a giant teddy-bear they “won” on the midway. But they didn’t win it – not by getting three balls in the peach-basket. Rather, the carny running the rigged game either chose not to operate the “scissor” that kicks balls out of the basket. Or, if the game is “honest” (that is, merely impossible to win, rather than gimmicked), the operator will make a too-good-to-refuse offer: “Get one ball in and I’ll give you this keychain. Win two keychains and I’ll let you trade them for this giant teddy bear.”

Carnies aren’t in the business of giving away giant teddy bears – rather, the gambit is an investment. Giving a mark a giant teddy bear to carry around the midway all day acts as a convincer, luring other marks to try to land three balls in the basket and win their own teddy bear.

These posts entice folks back to filling up the feeds, always engaging, and replying to multiple DMs. This means that instead of writing your next newsletter, or working on your website, you’re back on social media throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks.

Don’t fall for it. There are people on your email list, or reading your website, or subscribed to your RSS feed and they love what you do. Invest your time in those people.

And while you’ve got some downtime because you’re not spending 20+ hours a week on social media, I dare you to plan a weekly Zoom call with some weirdos in your creative orbit. I bet you’ll gain more in that hourly call than spending all that time trying to impress strangers.

I hosted two “Let’s Break Up 💔 With Gmail” calls last week, and one guest mentioned this as we were wrapping up on Friday:

“This was very helpful if for no other reason than just to know I’m not the only nut in the room.”

It’s such a relief knowing other people are facing the same challenges. That we’re not alone.

Because, at the end of the day, it’s not just about email, but also the lock-in with Google Calendar, collaborative docs, and photo management. This makes a move look harder to manage, and so then we never start.

And we landed on two big points:

1. The replacement will never feel “perfect” because Gmail feels so familiar – some of us were beta-users of Gmail back in early 2004!
2. Do we want to replace one “all in one” soultion with another? What will some of these companies look like in ten years?

A good place to start? Stop researching and just sign up for a free trial with another email provider like Fastmail or Proton (affiliate links) or Hey. Get a feel for them, because if the vibes are off, you’ll never switch over.

Start small. Switch something like your Netflix account first, then maybe a store account. There’s no need for a big announcement, to tell everybody about your move. Just update your email here and there as you migrate, and leave the critical accounts (like banking, work stuff) for later on.

From Lucy Werner of Hype Yourself, talking about how to get closer to the sorts of people you want to be working with (from one our recent Escape Pod Zoom calls).

“One of my mantras is: put yourself where you don’t belong. Yes, it’s good to have your squad of people doing similar things to empathize with, but I always like to be the only PR (person) in a room full of artists and creatives. That’s my happy space — they’re the people I want to hang out with.”

Lucy did this at a market hall, where people were “selling jeans, or candles, or perfumes, or whatever. And I just sat there with a sign, being like, 15 minutes of free PR or branding advice.”

She said she was busy all day “because we were the only service-based people sat in a market store around product sellers.”

Joi Katskee does a radio show, and on one of our calls she told us how she talked about her program at an open mic night.

I made flyers for Social Media Escape Club, and set them out at a punk rock flea market while selling some old music gear. This led to about a dozen face to face conversations with all sorts of people about wanting to get off social media.

The common theme here is none of us hoped for an algorithm to bring the right people to us, we just showed up.

So if you’ve been thinking that social media is the only way to find your people, I just gave you three examples of meeting people in the real world, one conversation at a time. Instead of chasing follower counts or engagement, find new ways to get around the people you want to work with.

And start figuring that out with other creative folks by joining one of our upcoming calls!

Someone on a recent Escape Pod Zoom call shared a perfect example of how social media isn’t a great way to organize an event.

They told us how an organization was promoting an event entirely through Facebook. Now, this person is a valued part of this community, but they’re not on social media, so they had no idea it was happening!

They only found out via text from someone else, and when they showed up, organizers and members hugged them and said, “Oh, thank goodness we didn’t know that you were going to make it!”

This is why you don’t center your community around social media, because even the people that follow you aren’t guaranteed to see every update. Consider than in 2026, a growing number of people aren’t even on social media anymore.

So get phone numbers, get an email addresses, heck, get mailing addresses; it’s time to get away from trusting the social media algorithms, and get back to connecting directly with your people.

You’re an artist, a poet, a musician, a creative person, and you’re tired of algorithms controlling who sees what. I was one of the first 3,000 to sign up for Twitter, I get it. But I’ve seen bands shout into the void for 10+ years on social media, and helped some artists get back to things like owning their website and direct connection to their audience with an email list.

Otherwise, it all becomes a digital hamster wheel that keeps us all spinning in place.

Here’s how you break out.

• Start looking at the profiles and about pages of the people you follow and see who they link to, what they like, who they follow.
• Start clicking the links in people’s newsletter and meet the people they’re gushing about.
• Tune into random live streams, hit play on podcasts you’ve never heard before.
• Join (and / or host) Zoom calls without expectations.
• Read the acknowledgements in books, and scan the credits of big video productions.

I know plenty of creative people doing these things a few times per week, and it puts dozens of wonderfully talented people onto their radar. I dare you to do the same!

Follow someone, subscribe, leave a thoughtful comment, send a DM or an email.

I’ve been doing this since at least 2023 and it’s radically shifted my creative vision, and given me hope for the future. Or you can continue letting an algorithm determine your fate, rather than trusting your gut and being intentional with who you let into your creative orbit.